he was ever so inviting.

man. math test done.
is it safe to say i aced it?
i don't know. but it's pretty easy. okay-ish. haha.
but my hands kept on trembling and i couldn't get the cap off from my green highlighter
and the insides fell out.
IT FELL OUT.
during the math exam.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" screamed inside my head.
jah. cut my fringe today!
anyway,
ave is having the bone flu.
is there such a thing?
apparently there is.
so i'm wishing her to get well soon :)
anyway,
this is such a boring post.
BORING. no photos.
but will probably get some tomorrow.
we're supposed to practice our aerobic routines.
YES we have aerobics on our P.E. curriculum.
i feel like wearing all my leggings and neon oversize t-shirts, and just start dancing.

anyway anyway.
i feel like people should just give up entirely on the idea of love.
it is useless, time consuming, and rather confusing.
i don't know.
it makes well educated, proper girls turn into mindless, and need i say, brainless lumps of 100 pounds of meat.
Sometimes I think we fall in love because our hearts
are beating too loud to hear our minds screaming,
" Don't do this to yourself! "
*sigh*

i don't know why
but the weirdest thought just went into my mind.
ive never been in a ferris wheel.
or maybe i have but i just cant remember it.
either way..


"Oh, my God
I hate the me that I've become
This needy, useless, forgetting one
Truthfully, i can't be the me
The me that I've washed up to be.."

sundaes.

sunday was okay.
got a vest-thingy *will post pics when she has the time* for rp 60000 again.
but i only paid rp 20000 and my cousin paid the rest haha
so technically, it only costs rp 20000.
anywaaaaay,
went to my uncle's house
cause my sister kept on bugging me wanting to see my 2 year old cousins.
who isn't really that cute anyway, but that's just my opinion.
he kept on crying, and crying, and crying..
before he went on to pushing every single furniture he could see towards my dad's legs.
which i find very amusing.
*sigh*

bahh so yesterday, i decided to go to school to sydney.
but im really not sure bout how long that decision will last.
like always.

so anyway,
i'm stuck in my rut of feeling like such a fatty.
fuck fuck fuck.
uh anyway,
more kids picturessss~


and its kind of pathetic and a little bit depressing,
that i've realised that i still act like that.
i still pout to my dad whenever he takes my picture.
i still run around the house with a BIG t-shirt and no pants *sigh*
i still sit by myself and grin at nothing.
jahhh.
man, is it strange to see that i am still the kid in those pictures?
=/

"this wont hurt more than a pinch
so just pour the drink, lets talk it over
i'm back after all these years
dont be afraid my dear, now i'm older."

am i ready to get back on the horse of love-looking-and-maybe-not-finding-it?
maybe.

to whom it may concerns.

"I wish I could do better by you,
'cause that's what you deserve"

and dear, i deserve better.
i don't know, for the past couple of days, I've been thinking.
and anyone who's ever had their hearts broken know this feeling far too well, im sure.
"someday we'll be able to be friends."
and i hate to be the one to bear the bad news,
but it's not gonna happen.
unless you forget them first.
it doesn't work backwards.
you don't get to forget them by being their friends.
you get to be their friends after you finished forgetting them.
I"ve also come to realize, that, when you don't forget the people you loved, with a d,
it is not a sign that they are your one and motherfucking true love.
its just a sign, that it's gonna take a little bit more time to heal that wound.
and that you dont have to try so hard, to like every other boy/girl you find along the road, just cause you think that you've been heart broken long enough
because good things come, when you least expect them.
so that's that.

new year is coming!
nah.
i'm actually dreading the fact that it IS coming.
gonna do something with the family.
since everyone else is being such a wuss and studying for ntu on their holiday.
its a freaking holiday, and kids are studying.
*sigh*

p.s. when my msn said i'm studying, i really am not.

that's it for now.
oh p.p.s. yesterday my cousin came and brought her kids along,
i thought I'd be over the children-disliking feeling after turning 17,
but what do you know, i am not. :/