worst.

this day was so close to being my ultimate worst day ever.
like ever.
EVER.
but it's not really.
my legs are all sore from yesterday
climbing up the stairs was hell.
almost lost my little chicken wallet
(thankyou to Elien who endlessly searched for it!)
has so many assignments it'll probably kill me sooner or later.
HAS IELTS TEST ON SATURDAY!!flghdflh

anyway..
i find the times i have left living in this house extremely short.
graduation is coming near.
adulthood is even closer.
i find myself in disbelief.
like all of these years just flashed by.
like the quote in chuck palahniuk's book
there's always going to be this feeling that you've missed something.
i don't know.
i still remember the days of junior high,
of me being a fat little girl (not that i am not fat now *sigh*)
but i still remember those days.
so close in my head.
and now i'm almost graduating.
i feel like i'm missing something..

anyway.
someone tell me.
do boys find smart girls intimidating?
:/

P.S. I miss my sisterrrrrrrr.

sometimes we often take life for granted, thinking that it'll never change
it's funny when you think of it more, you realize that
nothing will ever be the same again..

sundaes.

sunday was okay.
got a vest-thingy *will post pics when she has the time* for rp 60000 again.
but i only paid rp 20000 and my cousin paid the rest haha
so technically, it only costs rp 20000.
anywaaaaay,
went to my uncle's house
cause my sister kept on bugging me wanting to see my 2 year old cousins.
who isn't really that cute anyway, but that's just my opinion.
he kept on crying, and crying, and crying..
before he went on to pushing every single furniture he could see towards my dad's legs.
which i find very amusing.
*sigh*

bahh so yesterday, i decided to go to school to sydney.
but im really not sure bout how long that decision will last.
like always.

so anyway,
i'm stuck in my rut of feeling like such a fatty.
fuck fuck fuck.
uh anyway,
more kids picturessss~


and its kind of pathetic and a little bit depressing,
that i've realised that i still act like that.
i still pout to my dad whenever he takes my picture.
i still run around the house with a BIG t-shirt and no pants *sigh*
i still sit by myself and grin at nothing.
jahhh.
man, is it strange to see that i am still the kid in those pictures?
=/

"this wont hurt more than a pinch
so just pour the drink, lets talk it over
i'm back after all these years
dont be afraid my dear, now i'm older."

am i ready to get back on the horse of love-looking-and-maybe-not-finding-it?
maybe.