bittersweet,

i have sleepy eyes.

!!!!!
last day of lab exam!
we don't have to wear stupid lab coats anymore
and i am happy yet sad that it's over.
sad that the end is near.
really really near.
and i am still in love with the kids i call friends.
jah..
but anyway.
been having some problems lately..
i don't know.
when is love not worth the fight anymore?
some people need to know the answer to that.
some people need to learn that maybe at times,
when the entire world is against them,
maybe they just need to give up.
just let go.
let go.
l e t g o.
and hopefully one day meet again.
and the circumstances were different.
don't worry, i'm not falling for anyone.
i am still standing. haha.

i don't know.
i have mixed feeling about this certain problem.
i am amazed to see perseverance in people when pursuing love.
at the same time, i feel that people are just fooling themselves.
trying to be the romeo and juliet of the century
is like trying to find a nano-needle in a hay stack.
i turns out, you cant save people from drowning if they're happy not breathing and hyperventilating in the water.
:/
i am sorry dear,
i've tried to save you,
to pull you out of the hell hole you're creating.
but it's just un-do-able.
i have to be happy watching you drown.
but just in case, i have a life jacket here for you.
just for you only.

sleep-deprived.

got sick today.
had to go home from school earlier.
had a really bad stomach ache.
really really bad.
i could feel the pain on my back and everywhere, so i went home.
and then ate soup for the whole day.
and drink hot tea.

anyway..
don't have much to say today, other than the fact i'm terribly tired.
tired.
sleeping isnt really sleeping when your brain is still thinking.

jah.
on a lighter note,
been thinking of this chinese proverb thing lately.
xiao xin.
which my friend said means "be careful"
but i read somewhere, that it's this advice men used to give their sons.
they'd tell their sons to marry girls they don't really love.
and even if they do love her, they aren't supposed to be "giving" his heart to her.
cause if she dies, their sons will not have anything left.
i guess it's just interesting.
:/

HOLIDAYS.

NO SCHOOL TODAY!
what a relief.
but still, with chemistry and civic exam on monday
:/
stole couple of pics from cha-cha's blog



so anyway, been reading my old blog posts
i feel like the level of depression rises up to like the highest level of all these last couple of days.
and i'm sorry that i've been a bitch to everyone.
and i really feel stupid.
people everywhere have tougher problems than me
and i see them flashing a big smile everyday.
i feel like there's so much pressure.
dear everyone who reads this post,
if i don't get accepted at ntu, please bring me a huge cake and tell me it's okay.

sydney sucks tho.
it's mothereffing cold.
not like the-air-conditioner-is-too-cold, but like
i'm-wearing-gloves-in-a-room-with-heater-on-full-blast-cold.
jah jah jah.

anyway, will probably not go to our group project meeting thingy.
will study math.
i am so boring.

SO ANYWAY.
valentine's day in what, 7 days?
mannn, gonna bake cupcakes!
hahaha.
baking cupcakes is probably the highlight of the day.
*sigh*