thaniabites

a psychological riddle.
"if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"
scientifically, the answer will be no.
well anyway,
if a person has lived, and died, but no one is around to notice their achievements,
no one is around to see their accomplishments,
did they live at all?
i feel like i am completely happy where i am right now.
but it's just. i feel like it's time for a huge change.
time for a new direction.
got inspiration from watching skins.
"..like subatomic particles, and how they don't obey physical laws."
maybe i am the one subatomic particles, and everyone around me are just. solid.
or is it the other way around?
and another thing.
to anyone and everyone who's ever said that we are all different then you should all die.
quoted Palahniuk this time.
"Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness?"
well if we're all so special. then what's so special about being special?
"Can't I see how we're all manifestations of love?"
no.
not really. i don't.

anyway.
i feel like these days i relate to a lot of things that i just can't share to anyone else.
i feel like even if i try to tell people, they'll just shrug off?
"When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?"
been a really heavy post, this one.
i don't really expect anyone to understand.
or even to read.
i guess i realized what I had been moping around this past few days.
like Effy and Tony Stonem, like Kathryn Merteuil of Cruel Intentions, and every other images of social perfection, you have to keep your image clean.
image restoration or blah whatever you call them is needed.
until then, you'll see me moping.
and moping.

a novelist named Aldous Huxley once said "to be able to destroy with good conscience, to be able to behave badly and call your bad behaviour "righteous indignation" - this is the height of psychological luxury, the most delicious of moral treats."
i'll let you all think about that.
see ya round.

p.s. just saw some photos.
i miss a lot of people.
:(
dear people who i cannot name for fear of your narcissism getting on the way of things,
i miss you.