thaniabites

finally am done with macro exam.
you know what.
i am quoting my math teacher more than i should.
today he was replaced with another teacher. a woman this time.
she said.
"in order to prove something is true, you need to assume it is the exact opposite.
and then along the way, you'll find that your assumption is wrong.
you'll find a contradiction. then you'll know that the something is true."
well.
she was talking about proving this formulas thingy.
but i mean, it is the same with life.

i dont know.. i mean,
all this time, i kept saying to people
"things aren't gonna happen just to prove that you are wrong."
but the thing is, i am doing exactly that.
i kept *taunting* the world to do whatever it is that i want it to do.
while i act like it's never going to happen.
love never lasts.
no one is ever gonna love me the way i want them to.
i dont know. i dont know.
i do not want to feel pain.
but i kept on hurting the ones i care most.
i am sorry. it's just that i do not want to be the one who is responsible for your pain.
my head is screaming "he is not worth it"
while at times i kept on thinking, "what if he is?"

i am far from *fixing* the problems.
i know people will hate me for these things that i did.
i know not everyone agree with what ive done.
but i have to do this. i just have to :(